Physician Assistant (PA-S), Irish Dance Ballerina
Diffuse Midline Glioma (DMG) (Brain Tumor)
Philadelphia, PA, USA (Children's Hospital of Philadelphia)
"Irish dance has played a significant role in shaping the person I am today. I started when I was only 4 years old, and I never expected it to provide me with so many opportunities, friends, and experiences. As the years of my childhood passed, I progressed through various levels until I reached the Open Championship at the age of 8. Around that time, dance became more competitive. For as long as I can remember, I attended dance 4-5 times a week, for about 3 hours a day, including long workshops on weekends. The intensity always increased when competition periods approached. At such a tender age, I learned to balance school, dance, playing the violin, growing up teaching Irish dance, and my social life. This taught me discipline and organizational skills. Fortunately, I made many lifelong friends through dance. Together, we faced rigorous endurance courses, and we were there for each other when one of us achieved their goal but also when they didn’t. I traveled to many places in Europe for competitions, including some cities in Ireland, England, and Scotland. In the United States, I visited cities in Tennessee, Rhode Island, Louisiana, Illinois, Florida, California, North and South Carolina, and Massachusetts, all for Irish dance! I stopped competitive Irish dance when I went to college, but what I realized is that it would always be a part of me, whether I occasionally attended classes, watched or danced, went to a competition to help manage the stage or awards, or simply wanted to spend time with my dance friends or teachers. I was truly the happiest version of myself when I was involved with any aspect of Irish dance. I planned to get my teaching certificate as soon as I finished college for Physician Assistant, and I was looking forward to living my life in Irish dance!
At the beginning of my last year of university for Physician Assistant, I was thriving in every aspect. I felt on top of the world, focusing on self-love, my studies, and self-improvement. I had everything set for a wonderful final year of school.
Speaking of self-improvement, I decided to make an appointment with an optometrist because I was having headaches, as I had never worn glasses before, and I felt like I was straining my eyes looking at a screen all day. I mean, who doesn’t have headaches after long days at Physician Assistant school! Not giving it much thought, I went to the appointment at America’s Best on August 18th, where I underwent various tests, including an eye exam while it was dilated. I knew that my eye, after the exam, needed to readjust, and it would take a day or two, but I felt that something was wrong with my left eye for the entire following week. I couldn’t pinpoint what it was. Fast forward to August 30th, I realized, looking in the mirror, that my left eye was not aligned when I turned my head to the right, and I was sure I had never had episodes of lazy eye. I managed to figure out that the vision problem I had been having all week was double vision. So I decided to go to the Wills Eye ED with my parents after my last internship shift on Thursday, August 31st. The main symptom I reported to the ED was that I had had double vision for two days (since I didn’t know how to explain the vision problems I had had all the time), and after some tests, they decided to give me an MRI with and without contrast to rule out a mass or a stroke. The news that came next was the last thing I expected.
I was immediately told that I had an extremely rare form of pediatric brain cancer. With only 300 cases diagnosed each year in the United States, it is one of the most enigmatic types of tumors. I had an incredible medical team at CHOP. At this point, we decided that a biopsy was needed to outline the best course for my treatment. The biopsy would be performed on the morning of Wednesday, September 13th.
I felt a great peace at that moment because I had never felt closer to God than I did then. In the last week, I had experienced as much love as I had never felt in my life. I couldn’t wait to share what the Lord was doing with my life and heart through this diagnosis. ‘And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus’ Philippians 4:7.
Throughout my life, I felt that God was calling me, and I never got there. I went to church, did devotions, listened to sacred music, went to Sunday school, but somehow I felt constrained. As if I didn’t know what it was for. I didn’t really know Jesus. Yet, I had so much to learn about Him and from Him. But that Sunday changed my life. I felt so at peace in church.
It was the moment when I felt closest to the Lord. I always wanted a deep connection with Jesus, but that feeling wasn’t there. This diagnosis brought a completely new light and feeling to my relationship with God.
Today I am happy that all this happened. I can’t believe the life I led before. I was simply going through the months and not fully listening to God. He was bringing me so close to Him... and there was just a window between us. I am happy that all this happened because I was reborn. I am not afraid to pray out loud. I am not afraid to spread the Word.
To profess my love for Jesus. I want to walk with Him every day. Go to church and be with Him. I want to love others. I want to radiate love and peace.
I know I have a place in heaven. I know I will have eternal life. I find peace, comfort, and joy in knowing that my death will change people’s lives, bringing them closer to God, bringing love to one another. I have been blessed because I had the chance to change my life. To live the life I always prayed for. In the end, I felt the love I always prayed for. Especially living with cancer, I remember His goodness. He could have taken me in a car accident. I don’t think we would have had the same conversation. He knows that the fact that I have cancer means that people will be with me at all times and will listen to what I have to say.
My next request is that I would like to be prepared for the days when I will be afraid, suffering, in the long run, when my health deteriorates. What can I do to feel the healing love of Jesus?
In memory of my uncle Sean, whom I never met because he died of leukemia after a short battle, and my grandmother who died of colon cancer after fighting for 8 years. In honor of my beautiful mother who defeated lung cancer a few years ago, and myself fighting brain cancer, I say: Let’s stay united, fight together, and win together.
What I have left to say is that I can talk about the need for funding, more places for clinical trials, more resources and research, more awareness, and more cures. Sometimes I wish Diffuse Midline Glioma (DMG) and cancer didn’t exist at all so that I wouldn’t have to be here. I wish your loved ones, those who are walking the same path as I am, affected by cancer and who have departed because of it, were here today. But tonight, I want to remind you that God is still here. Jesus is here. God gives us grace every day to face our situations, and that’s why we can fight for a cure. You might have shut yourselves off and not spoken to anyone anymore when a loved one passed away, or if you are a doctor spending hours and hours on shift seeing sick patients one after another, you might have given up, but you didn’t. You all knew there was a greater purpose. If none of you were here, I would probably have died 9 days ago, at my sixth month.
Fortitude is the strength of character that allows a person to endure pain or adversity with courage. Courage is the mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty. In my case, I am enduring the pain of brain cancer, physically, mentally, and emotionally, but I am using the Word of God and His presence every day to get through this in the most peaceful way possible. I am like a blood vessel carrying God’s love, and I know He is using me in many ways. For what reasons and outcomes He has in mind, I am not sure, but I can rest in the fact that I am bringing more change and uniting more people than I could have done without being diagnosed with DMG.
I make a mental effort to notice the moments when I am completely at peace and try to remember that this is how heaven will look. Being embraced in my mother’s arms before sleeping, being hugged by my friends during my healing mass while we all cried and prayed, floating in the crystal-clear waters of the ocean at Miami Beach while the sun shines, listening to the fountain in my new zen room with fairy lights twinkling, learning to play the guitar and picking up the violin again, dancing as if no one was watching in New York with my best friends, hugging my friend Stephanie at different mile markers when she ran the New York marathon, listening to Ariana Grande’s new album just released for the first time, seeing the smile of my dog Darby in the morning when I wake up, listening to birds chirping outside my bedroom window while I wrote this text.
I would like to conclude with one of the Bible verses that has had great significance for me at the beginning of my journey with cancer and that now helps me get through each day: "I can do all things through him who strengthens me, Philippians 4:13."